Before discussing the issues raised by introducing so audacious and counter-intuitive a proposition as Retrojected Identity, the status of Settled Sojourner brought about as a consequence of Ascending Lineality, it is essential to differentiate between believing Christians, Muslims (indeed, everyone adhering to the faith of an established religious community) and other Gentiles who do not consider themselves religiously committed. Most Jews entering interfaith marriages choose non-religious Gentiles as their mates. One reason is that their life values are more likely to be in agreement. And while the divorce rate in Jewish/non-religious-Gentile marriages is well over 50 percent, it is even higher in marriages between Jews and committed Christians.
How then shall non-Jewish parents dedicated to raising Jewish children be regarded by a Jewish community in the new millennium? How might Gentile parents of Jewish children achieve, or take upon themselves, the very special status of the Ger Toshav, the Settled Sojourner?
This might very well be the most appropriate place to submit and develop the proposition espoused and emphatically advanced throughout this text – a proposition which builds upon, and to a certain extent revises and enlarges the symmetries of Jewish identity for our time. We have characterized the proposition as “Ascending Lineality.” We have also propounded its corollary by the designation “Retrojected Identity.” How does Ascending Lineality function? To whom and when does Retrojected Identity apply?
Descent is obviously downward in direction and Descending Lineality refers to the age old formula of determining the “line” of identity from above. Ascent is upward in its direction and Ascending Lineality refers to the process of acquiring identity from below. The proposition recognizes that a child’s upbringing transmits a distinct status upon a parent. Retrojected Identity confers the standing of Settled Sojourner upon the Gentile parent of a Jewish child. That new status is often made apparent at the time a family celebrates a life-cycle event such as brit, consecration or bar/bat mitzvah.
At any one of these milestone family commemorations establishing or affirming the Jewish identity of a child, whether consciously or dimly understood, the non-Jewish parent obligates himself or herself to take on certain responsibilities/commandments over and beyond the requirements of the “children of Noah.” Usually at an early-on life cycle event such as a covenant ceremony, standing alongside the child, Retrojected Identity “kicks in” precisely at the time the non-Jewish parent’s “being there” and “body language” convey the avowed intention of supporting the child’s Jewish identity. That is when a Gentile parent may justifiably begin to see and declare her or himself to be a Settled Sojourner. Retrojected identity, brought about by the process of Ascending Lineality, occurs when Gentile parents pledge audibly or vow inwardly that they will do no less than a Jewish parent to raise their children as Jews.
This ungainly term for an elegant proposition acknowledges the reality that the identity of a household and the upbringing of children, in truth, determine the religious identity of the parents, not the other way around: For “whosoever raiseth Jewish children becometh a Settled Sojourner,” Jewish, for nearly all intents and purposes, in an ascending direction or in reverse order. The proposition designated Retrojected Identity serves to recognize and acknowledge the undeniable fact that in 21st century American society, the decision parents make concerning the identity of a child establishes the identity of parents. When parents make a decision about their children they make a decision about themselves.
Perhaps the most important thesis of this book then is the proposition that the decision concerning the religious identity of a newly established household determines the identity of all its members – whether Jewish, Christian, Chewish or Eschewish.
Lineality arises from the child. The pillar upholding the Mansion of Jewish Identity that we denote as Jewish descent (along with conversion) also refers to Jewish ascent. For the Settled Sojourner therefore, three of the four pillars supporting Jewish identity may potentially be set in place, even if not necessarily firm or solid in structure. Torah/Judaism provides the culture and the initiative for action; the mitzvah system provides the specifics of the actions to be undertaken; Ascending Lineality transmits Settled Sojourner status. Only self-declaration is lacking. But self-declaration as a Settled Sojourner also serves to brace the edifice.
The process of shoring up the pillars of the Mansion will be ongoing for the Settled Sojourner as it is for any self-identifying Jew. Studying Judaism, immersing in Jewish life, deepening adherence to Jewish culture and Torah values while participating in the mitzvah of raising children affirming Jewish identity may, for more than a few Settled Sojourners, take on impressive strengths over time.
In Reform and many other congregations, children attend religious school and enjoy observing bar/bat mitzvah celebrations and Confirmations even when, or even though, their fathers are Jewish and their mothers are not. Without masculine or feminine distinctions in this age of gender equality, mothers and fathers alike share in making the decision to establish a Jewish home and to become joyous participants in the cultural and religious life of their family.
Years into their marriage, generally when children are preparing for their bar or bat mitzvah ceremonies, the non-Jewish mother invariably smiles and nods in agreement when I point out (again) that despite there having been no conversion - “only a convergence” - a mother of Jewish children is a “Jewish mother,” or more accurately, a Settled Sojourner. She is hardly different in the path she has taken and the way she has lived than a born Jewish mother. This Settled Sojourner status – in true egalitarian fashion - applies as well to a non-Jewish father.
Settled Sojourners do not refer to themselves as Jews but as parents of Jews living in a Jewish household, observing commandments and doing what Jews do. From time to time it is useful to be reminded, even if it is an oversimplification, that Judaism does not tell you what to believe but what to do, that is, how to conduct one’s life. The conduct of the life of the Settled Sojourner is a Jewish conduct of life.